Some time back, Christian Bök introduced me to the SCP Wiki, a collection of imaginative “Special Containment Procedures” that can be likened to a crowd-sourced archive-book. In the words of the site:
SCP artifacts pose a significant threat to global security. Various agencies from around the world operate to maintain human independence from extra-terrestrial, extra-dimensional, and extra-universal threat. In the past humankind has been at the whim of these bizarre artifacts and similar phenomena, but we have now reached a point in history where we can begin to control and contain these defiances of natural law.
Derek Beaulieu voted “for” this by releasing it as a chapbook/broadsheet through No Press. I have a few left if you want one.
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: To date, no adequate containment procedure has been developed to deal with the possible threat posed by SCP-001. This is due, in part, to the controversial nature of the item and debates concerning the necessity of its containment. This controversy is reflected in the item’s changing object class and varying procedures utilized in its containment. The current administration, despite charges of paranoia, has classed the object Keter, while requesting permission for a higher object class to be created and applied uniquely to this item, considering it to be the most dangerous of all known or possible items.
At the current time, SCP-001 is located in a code-locked briefcase fashioned of lead alloy and reinforced with titanium. The room and briefcase are monitored at all times by security cameras. The briefcase cannot be opened without unanimous special clearance from all current O5 officers. The briefcase itself is stored in a small, fully lighted, single-room building erected in ███ ██████ ██████. Class D personnel are posted to guard the room but may not enter without the aforementioned agreement from the O5 officers, under threat of military execution. This off-site building exists for the sole purpose of housing SCP-001 and is wired for detonation in an emergency situation.
It is the opinion of the current administration that SCP-001 represents the greatest known threat to national and global security. Nevertheless, due to special circumstances regarding its mode of function, further research on the item is disallowed, despite encouragement of same in the past, when SCP-001 was contained in minimum security conditions.
Description: SCP-001 is a simple sheaf of papers, stapled together in the top-left corner. The top paper is a covering sheet reading simply, “Confidential Report on Special Items—Classified.” The number of subsequent papers stapled to this covering sheet is indeterminate, and has ranged from three to thirty. The report is unsigned and its origin is unknown.
The first appearance of this report was on ███████ █, ████, when it appeared on the desk of ████████ █████ (deceased). The report at that time described “The ‘Living’ Room” (SCP-002). Shortly after reading the report with incredulity, ████████ █████ was contacted by phone regarding said item. The next time ████████ █████ perused SCP-001, it described not “The ‘Living’ Room” but “Biological Motherboard” (SCP-003). ████████ █████ immediately closed SCP-001, thinking it was a different report, and searched for the original report on SCP-002. Not finding it, he again opened SCP-001, and this time it described not SCP-003 but “The 12 Rusty Keys and the Door” (SCP-004). ████████ █████ closed the report once more and opened it immediately, to read of “Skeleton Key” (SCP-005). It is not known what the next actions of ████████ █████ might have been. At varying times following this incident, the aforementioned items were discovered.
Insufficient research exists concerning the correlation between SCP-001 and all other known items. However, it has been established that every event regarding the discovery of a new SCP item has followed a report on that same item appearing beneath the cover sheet of SCP-001. The current administration regards this coincidence as proof of causal connection.
Additional Notes: Whether SCP-001 is to be regarded as an advance-warning system or whether SCP-001 itself is to be regarded as the creator of the items requiring special containment remains to be seen. However, the distinction is unimportant in the eyes of the current administration. The fact remains: no new SCP items appear unless SCP-001 is opened and read. It is for this reason that the current administration refuses to repeat the mistakes of the past, mistakes that have resulted in over 1000 SCP items coming to the knowledge of the SCP unit.
Arguments concerning the non-lethality of SCP-001 itself, its theoretically beneficial use as an SCP warning system, or its use as a progenitor of advanced biological and non-biological weapons have not swayed the current administration. Nor have arguments criticizing the extreme containment procedures employed in respect to an item that displays no nefarious qualities and is not animate as such. Critics are reminded that these procedures are intended not to contain the item itself, but to isolate it from human interaction, which is to be regarded as the true threat.
Although the current administration refuses to remove the object from isolation barring special authorization as noted above, past administrations have counseled daily consultation with the item, and future administrations will no doubt counsel similar behavior. Nevertheless, it is the opinion of the current administration that, barring the destruction of SCP-001, which is not currently possible for political reasons, it is to be contained until such a time when responsibility for its containment falls upon future administrations.