Haiku Horoscopes2018-05-04T14:27:08+00:00

Haiku Horoscopes

I write humorous
horoscopes in haiku form:
Haiku Horoscopes

Also, on twitter,
@haikuhoroscopes will
tickle your fancy

Your Sign This Week

Aquarius

Rolling around nude
In bacon grease is one way
To build your platform

Aries

Geese will invade your
Yard, and then your neighbour’s, and
Then your fantasies

Cancer

Believe in yourself
And others will believe in
Your suicide cult

Gemini

Have new business cards
Made up that simply say “I
Wanna Be Your Dog”

Leo

Many times I have
Wondered how King Kong thought the
Romance would have worked

Libra

The phone is for you
Although the caller says that
We’re in the Matrix

Pisces

There’s nothing funny
About torturing a mime
To get him to talk

Sagittarius

These horoscopes are
Haunted, but at least I’ve passed
The curse on to you

Scorpio

If those kids won’t help
You kill the evil clown then
They are not your friends

Taurus

The beautiful thing
About friends is how they will
Accept all your lies

Virgo

Hannibal Lecter
Invited you for dinner—
It’s rude to say no

Archives by Sign

Aquarius
Aries
Cancer
Capricorn
Gemini
Leo
Libra
Pisces
Sagittarius
Scorpio
Taurus
Virgo

About Our Practice

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