Haiku Horoscopes2018-05-04T14:27:08+00:00

Haiku Horoscopes

I write humorous
horoscopes in haiku form:
Haiku Horoscopes

Also, on twitter,
@haikuhoroscopes will
tickle your fancy

Your Sign This Week

Aquarius

You need more fibre
In your diet, which is why
You should eat your shirt

Aries

That alien cheese
Will take over the world with
Cosmic gouda-ness

Cancer

I advise extreme
Levels of radiation
When reading Dan Brown

Capricorn

I read this Bible
Front to back, and it doesn’t
Say much about blogs

Gemini

Replace silverware
With poisonware if you want
To keep cutting-edge

Leo

There’s more than one way
To skin a cat, including
Prolonged psychic war

Libra

You will never be
Happy until you destroy
Your thirty-eight clones

Pisces

Although your organs
Will turn to jelly, they’ll taste
Great with some whipped cream

Sagittarius

Don’t be so hasty
To turn down the offer of
“Pain”—they might mean “bread”

Scorpio

Get a jump on spring
Cleaning by throwing out old
Newspaper empires

Taurus

That headache is a
Sign that you should stop putting
Rockets in your ears

Virgo

Better with butter!
I’m speaking, of course, about
Weird fetish sex games

Archives by Sign

Aquarius
Aries
Cancer
Capricorn
Gemini
Leo
Libra
Pisces
Sagittarius
Scorpio
Taurus
Virgo

About Our Practice

Phasellus non ante ac dui sagittis volutpat. Curabitur a quam nisl. Nam est elit, congue et quam id, laoreet consequat erat. Aenean porta placerat efficitur. Vestibulum et dictum massa, ac finibus turpis.

Contact Info

12345 West Elm Street

Phone: 1.888.456.7890

Fax: 1.888.654.9876

Web: Buy Avada Today!