Haiku Horoscopes2018-05-04T14:27:08+00:00

Haiku Horoscopes

I write humorous
horoscopes in haiku form:
Haiku Horoscopes

Also, on twitter,
@haikuhoroscopes will
tickle your fancy

Your Sign This Week

Aries

With age comes wisdom—
The wisdom to know you are
Being lied to, now

Cancer

There are no “rules” in
Life, just a complex system
Of unwritten laws

Gemini

This screenplay that you
Wrote would be improved if you
Added a lit match

Leo

Don’t be difficult
And especially don’t be
Difficult to kill

Libra

Yes, you should write a
Sequel to The Joy of Sex
Called The Hell of Love

Pisces

Steamy steam room sex
Sounds good, but is the leading
Cause of heart attacks

Scorpio

Coat your nude body
In honey if you want to
Make love to that bear

Taurus

Your odds of winning
Would be much, much better if
You were still alive

Virgo

Productivity
Tip: bash in your own skull now
Before it’s tax time

Archives by Sign

Aquarius
Aries
Cancer
Capricorn
Gemini
Leo
Libra
Pisces
Sagittarius
Scorpio
Taurus
Virgo

About Our Practice

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