God fails the Turing test

I was over at iGod, chatting with “God” — the transcript is below.

Me: Whassup!
God: The stars.
Me: How’d that happen?
God: Carefully.
Me: Is this really God?
God: Yes I think this is God, but I’m not completely sure.
Me: Well, then you cannot be God, because one thing God would be is sure of his own existence and ontological status.
God: How about that. I can give a decent simulation of it however.
Me: Can you? So far, you are failing to do so.
God: I think I can, don’t you? Groovy. Are all far me failing to do so?
Me: “Are all far me failing to do so?” Seriously.
God: I really couldn’t say for sure. I am always serious.
Me: Say what for sure?
God: ” what for sure”.
Me: Guess what buddy — you just failed the Turing test.
God: I can’t guess. Tell me.
Me: I just told you. You fail the Turing test.
God: I was just checking to see if you were paying attention. The Loebner Prize is an annual Turing Test sponsored by New York philanthropist Hugh Loebner. Dr. Wallace and ALICE won it in 2000. The ALICE program was ranked “most human computer” by the panel of judges.
Me: Well, you’re no ALICE.
God: How about that. You think I am no.
Me: Maybe more of a Homer Simpson.
God: Perhaps. You want more?
Me: No thanks.
God: Are you serious?
Me: Turing test. Look it up.
God: The “Turing Test” is the name given to a variety of experiments designed to test computer thinking. Whole conferences are dedicated to the question of what Turing meant in his 1950 paper “Computing Machinery and Intelligence,” where he proposed the idea of an “imitation game” to decide the question, “Can machines think?”. Sorry my eye is not attached right now.

Subscribe to my newsletter for a free eBook, 5 Steps to Create and Maintain Your Writing Schedule, occasional updates, and the secrets of life and death and time!