What Knausgård Reviews Look Like to People Who Haven’t Read Knausgård

Karl Ove Knausgård’s new book is beyond long, and way past self-indulgent. You should read it! He can’t write well — his prose is clunky and often seems unedited. His translator’s not great. You should read it!

Knausgård seems like a horrible person, from all accounts, including his own lengthy account. He’s great! His life is not interesting, since he has done little worth writing about. Did I mention that he’s not that great a writer? Get off your ass and go get this book!

Knausgård is a whiny white male who has written a very long book whining about the struggles of being a white male today, and he titled the book after Hitler’s book. It’s sooooooo worth reading! Sorry, I meant to say a series of very long books.

A very long series of very long books, about a white dude’s struggles. All he wants to do is write super-long books, but he’s not that great a writer, so it’s hard! If you haven’t read Knausgård yet, then get crackin’, Jack! What are you waiting for?

Knausgård is kinda like Proust, except that he’s not Proust, because he can’t write that well. He’s the Proust of today! Don’t miss out!

This new book is named after a Bruce Springsteen song, for no apparent reason, or maybe he’s unaware of the song somehow and thinks he’s being original. He’s not. Some reviewer called Knausgård “far from original” and I agree. That reviewer was praising the book, by the way — it deserves all of its praise, and even more praise! It totally lives up to the hype!

It’s pretty much the same as every other white dude’s autobiographical novel, except it is super-fucking-long and you should read it immediately!

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KKK-KNNNNNNNN ….

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!KNAUSGÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅRD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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