FAQ
Can I contact you about _________?
Will you let me into your class?
Why don’t you provide free downloads of your books on this site?
Are you the director of Jonathan Ball Publishers?
Why does your signature cost so much?
Can you edit my manuscript?
How can I submit to The Martian Press?
I want to be published in Dandelion and/or Filling Station — will you consider my work?
Will you consider directing my movie script?
Will you direct a music video for my band?
How can I watch Spoony B or Opening Band? Can I buy them on DVD?
How can I purchase CDs by Prost or Mars Has The Advantage?
What is your next musical project?
What happened to the Haiku Horoscopes?
What happened with the samurai films?
I want to hire you to do something. What can you do?
Who is your agent?
How can I arrange an interview with you?
Will you read my work, and give me your opinion on said work, for no reason, and no money, although I am a stranger to you?
Can I contact you about _________?
Of course! I’m happy to hear from you about almost anything. But please be reasonable. You can contact me at jonathan@jonathanball.com.
Will you let me into your class?
If you want to get into one of my classes, but can’t due to the class being filled or you lacking the proper prerequisite, then chances are that I will not let you into the class unless there is a strong, compelling reason I should do so. In many instances, even if I do decide to let you into the class, the department may not approve my decision. If you have a very strong, very compelling reason why you need to join my class, then contact me to request permission.
Why don’t you provide free downloads of your books on this site?
I’ve released both of my books under Creative Commons licenses that have, in essence, decriminalized most noncommercial uses of the books, including making and distributing free copies (which would otherwise be illegal). Isn’t that enough?
I’m not going the extra step of providing free copies on this site, because my publishers asked me not to, although they were happy to publish within the creative commons as I requested. Besides, I think you should buy the books. They don’t cost much and it helps my publishers out. Why shouldn’t we pay for cultural products? Lack of funds should not prevent anyone from having access to culture. But, at the same time, laziness and cheapness does not entitle you to free stuff.
If you want to distribute free copies, then I won’t stand in your way, because it’s pointless, and because I don’t mind. I’d rather you distribute the books than not distribute them, regardless of whether or not I make any money. But my real interest in the CC licensing is to encourage the production of noncommercial derivative works. So I don’t see the point in putting up free copies on the site. If you want free copies, then find one elsewhere, or go to the library. But better yet, buy them. There are worse things to spend your money on than books.
You have to remember that there is a large, invisible infrastructure that allows for the creation and production of quality works. Just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there. Yes, publishing needs to be X and it needs to be Y, but it won’t become those things overnight. The culture industry requires your support if it’s going to survive and change into a new, more beautiful thing, instead of crumbling and turning to dust.
Are you the director of Jonathan Ball Publishers?
No. You are thinking of Jonathan Ball (www.jonathanball.co.za).
Why does your signature cost so much?
You’re referring to the fact that a signed book from me is much more expensive than an unsigned book from my publishers. This is to encourage you to buy directly from my publishers, or indirectly from them through a bookstore or Amazon, rather than buy books from me.
Yes, I can. Will I? Maybe, if I have time. Contact me for more information. I typically charge between $40-60/hour.
How can I submit to The Martian Press?
I no longer publish books as The Martian Press, so I am sorry, but you can’t.
I want to be published in Dandelion and/or Filling Station — will you consider my work?
No, but only because I am no longer an editor for either of those publications. Submit to the current editors via the normal route: Dandelion is at www.dandelionmag.ca and Filling Station is at www.fillingstation.ca.
Will you consider directing my movie script?
That depends. Is it any good? Would it cost me millions of dollars, or could I do it for $500? If you have millions of dollars, I will probably direct it. Otherwise, it’s not likely, but possible. You will have to contact me.
Will you direct a music video for my band?
Maybe. Is your band any good? Does it have any money? If your band is named “The Perms,” then the answer is “no.” Otherwise, contact me, and we’ll talk.
How can I watch Spoony B or Opening Band? Can I buy them on DVD?
If you want either film for a festival, or for any other professional screening or broadcast, then you should contact Monica Lowe at the Winnipeg Film Group. If you’re just a regular moviegoer, then you are out of luck at the moment.
How can I purchase CDs by Prost or Mars Has The Advantage?
Neither band ever released an album. The few songs on this website (in the “Odds & Ends” section) are my only recordings available for public consumption. But you may enjoy the band The River City Hum, which contains former members of Prost. Their album “Embellish the Melody” is awesome and available on iTunes.
What is your next musical project?
Obscurity.
What happened to the Haiku Horoscopes?
That depends. If you were reading them in VUE Weekly, well, Edmontonians found them confusing, and after a number of attempts to accommodate the column, it was axed. If you were reading them in Uptown, the publication cancelled the column to run more ads after being bought by the Winnipeg Free Press. (Update: the column is now running in Uptown once again.) If you were reading them online, the best I can figure is that the guy who I was paying for the website fled the country with my money and files and set his web servers on fire. (Update: the site has returned, to www.haikuhoroscopes.com.) I am trying to figure out what else to do with the 3000+ horoscopes I’ve written, and welcome suggestions. Would anyone buy a book collection? If you know of a publication that should be paying me money and running the column, please contact me.
What happened with the samurai films?
Wow, you actually know about this? Here are your answers, short and long. Since I wrote that, I have seen the film, and enjoyed it quite a bit. In theory the movie will be out on DVD in late 2010 or in 2011.
I want to hire you to do something. What can you do?
I can do most anything, and my Mom says I’m cool. And I can eat a lot of sushi, if you’re buying. If you want to talk to me about something, then e-mail me.
Me. But I’m not very good. If you are an agent, then contact me, and we’ll talk. (The full story here is that I have never desired an agent, nor approached one, but I am open to the idea.)
How can I arrange an interview with you?
You can contact me, and arrange an interview with me. It’s that simple.
Will you read my work, and give me your opinion on said work, for no reason, and no money, although I am a stranger to you?
What do you think?
